To Aunt Ide
(Gerome’s paternal Aunt Ida Compton on her 80th birthday)
If life begins at forty
You’re really havin’ fun.
Your joints maybe a little stiff,
And maybe you can’t run,
But you can sit and watch TV
And keep up on what is new,
Whereas oldsters in years gone by
Hadn’t a darned thing to do
But sit back in some dark corner
I a worn old rocking chair,
And recall old times and places
With a feeling of despair.
So here’s to a modern oldster
Whose heart is still young and gay,
May life be very good to you
And to you—A Happy Birthday!
To Aunt Ann
(Wife of Gerome’s maternal uncle Jake)
That check you sent I don’t deserve
But ‘twas grand of you to send it,
So as I rest I’ve given thought
As to how that I might spend it.
For years I’ve had a paunch in front
Which spoiled my looks completely,
So I think I’ll buy a girdle
That will hold my parts in neatly.
And when I gaze upon myself
And see how firm and flat I am,
I’ll know my lovely figure came
By the kind gift from you, Aunt Ann.